The Ways of the City…v.2.0

I told you this would most likely become a regular installment. There are simply too many ridiculous things that happen on an average day in New York City to NOT have plenty of material for this post. Without further ado…

1. Exiting a store.

– Right way: walk in a generally moderate to brisk pace (depending on the pace of the person in front of you) towards the door on the right side. Open the door if necessary and walk through. Continue walking until you have successfully exited the store and you are now on the sidewalk.

– Wrong way: the most common mistake people make while following the directions above is to stop as soon as they have walked through the door but are not quite outside on the sidewalk. These offenders then proceed to check their cell phone, look around, open their new purchases, etc. Other offenders will actually engage in this practice sooner and stop before they have even made it through the door, and still others will stop and turn around to head back into the store even though they have already succeeded in purchasing their items. Listen people, this is New York. We already have issues with congestion and traffic jams. Please abide by the proper store exiting etiquette that I have described above. Otherwise I may just keep walking into/over you in order to exit the store.

2. Walking down the sidewalk as a group.

– Right way: walk in two’s, maybe three’s, on one side of the side walk. Remain cognizant of people both ahead of you and behind you, and be prepared to make room for people passing by. Adjust for narrower sidewalks and walkways accordingly.

– Wrong way: walk in seven’s, or eight’s, down the entire sidewalk. Remain completely oblivious to all people within a 10 foot radius. Refuse to consolidate the space your group is taking up, and force the people around you to walk in the street or scrape past the building in order to get by. Other useful techniques include: holding hands across the group, or walking massive mega-strollers side-by-side.

3. Ordering drinks at a crowded bar.

– Right way: generally the best way to do this is to find the natural openings that occur between bar patrons, and catching the attention of your bartender from there so that you can place your order. If those areas already have other patrons placing orders, wait behind them for your turn. If you’re receiving table service, wait for your server or try to catch his/her attention (as a caveat, remember that you’re in a crowded bar and you are not the only customer that this person has to pay attention to…it may take a few moments before your server can get to you). In this case, if you start ordering from the bartender while you’re getting table service, you’re cutting into your server’s tips and overall paycheck and that’s just plain rude. The golden rule to remember is this: servers have to tip out the bartenders; bartenders do not have to tip out the servers.

– Wrong way: bulldoze through two or more people sitting at the bar in order to get the attention of your bartender. Those people at the bar were there first, and do not appreciate getting knocked aside because you want another frou frou strawberry daiquiri. Other methods include ordering back and forth from the bartender and your server. By cutting down the total bill that either the bartender or the server will be giving you (lets say for argument’s sake that you’re cutting it 50/50 by ordering from each person equally), you are essentially halving the total percentage of tip that your server would have otherwise received because the bartender rang up the other half. Not to mention, why on earth do you want to fight a crowd at the bar when someone will just bring it to you? Not very smart.

Until next time, consider yourself educated on these very basic ways of living in the city. Do things the right way from now on, and you will be doing your part to make this world (New York City is the world, isn’t it?) a better place.

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